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END OF THE JOURNEY
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Boston, July 7th, 2009
I just started the Race Across America 2009 and after only 21 miles, I run on empty as soon as the road goes up. Impossible for me to find my usual pace, and it is the breath short that I painfully climb the first pass of the race that culminates at 2,600 feet. I arrive at the first Time Station (TS) located at Lake Henshaw, CA, sweating heavily, very tired and not really understanding what's going on. It's already 105F, it's the beginning of the race and the stress and fear of not doing well are present. However, it doesn't explain such a lack of energy that characterizes the first miles. But I don't have the time to figure this out and it's with great fear that I continue the race. After the first night where I manage to ride relatively well, thanks to mild temperature and a strong tail-wind, I arrive at the TS #5 in Congress, AZ. It's the end of the first day and the time for me and my team to evaluate my progress. I managed to get my daily goal done by riding 340 miles (goal was 300 miles per day), by stopping very little and not sleeping at all. However, my whole team already feels that I'm not riding as well as I use to. I can't find my rhythm and as soon as the road goes up, I can't keep up the pace and has to put the smallest gear on my bike and suffer the whole climb instead of riding aggressively.
The second day of the race is expected to be difficult with countless passes and a stifling heat of 110F. I climb at a sluggish pace Yarnell Grade pass, culminating at 4,870 feet, and then arrive at TS #6 in Prescott, AZ located at 5,500 feet. Being there at the beginning of the night and feeling exhausted, I decide to take my first real sleep break in a motel. Unfortunately, I can't find the sleep and it's very tired that I remount on my bike and goes to the next TS in Flagstaff, AZ. In the night, I have the pleasure to meeting again with Anne-Cecile, my wife and Sylvie, who just joined the team. Their presence and energy helps me staying awake during the night but the climb to Flagstaff located at 6,840 feet is never-ending. In the early hours, I manage to fall asleep 15 minutes in the follow van. Finally, I arrive in Flagstaff in the middle of the morning where the rest of the team is waiting. If the first day of the race, I was not wondering too much about my lack of energy, as time went by and the fatigue accumulating, doubt has quickly insinuated in my mind. On my previous solo RAAM, although I had moments of great fatigue, after a few hours, I could recover and I would ride well again. But this year I never felt strong, and that from the very beginning of the race. I had no energy despite the fact that I was eating well. At this moment of the race, I was not trying to figure this out but only trying to recover and get back on track. Arriving in Flagstaff, I tried to sleep longer, but unfortunately without success. Despite an amount of sleep of 15 minutes in 2 days, the stress and doubt accumulated since the beginning prevented me from falling asleep.
I got back on my bike around noon in the heat to the TS#9 located in Tuba City, AZ, the gateway to Monument Valley. Although this stage was relatively easy, some hills toward the end of this stretch made me realized how much I was exhausted physically and mentally. I never felt good, and when I painfully arrived in Tuba City, I decided to stop the race. Quitting a race like RAAM is a very difficult decision to make because many people were involved in this project, whether team members who came from France or elsewhere and took time off for you, sponsors who help you financially, friends and colleagues who support you, and finally the family who support you but also "suffer" in some way from your passion. Everyone wants you to cross the finish line because it's a little part of them who cross that finish line with you. However, the cyclist is the only one who pedal, and it's only him who can make the decision, in his mind and soul, to stop or continue the race.
Being sick 3 weeks before the race (probably a flu), I was basically unable to train until the start of RAAM. This has destroyed months of training and preparation. Solo RAAM does not forgive any weakness once the race is on, because rest is virtually inexistent until the very end. Moreover, having finished solo RAAM in 2007, I knew what to expect in the next days, with especially the Rockies to ride through. This has undoubtedly affected me mentally, and when riding a bike is already physically painful, one must accept the defeat, rather than taking ill-considered risks for his health. Life will move on, and I'm sure that there will be many more challenges in the future, whether athletics or not, and this defeat will probably (has already!) have a positive impact on my life.
To conclude, I'd like to thank the many people who accompanied me during this incredible RAAM journey. I can't mention you all, by fear of forgetting some. But know that you have all, at one time or another, crossed my path, whether by sponsoring me, being a team member, sending emails of encouragement, making a donation, or simply saying to me that I was nuts! I will never forget your support. You all have been a big part of my dream, and thanks to you, some people in need somewhere in this planet, have now hope for a better life. Thank you for them.
ps: My website has been updated with photos, table and blood analysis data.
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